The Customer is Always In the Way
One of the most frustrating things about being in NYC seems to be the way customer service works. Or, more accurately, doesn't work. In fact, unless you're in some swanky upscale shop or the tourist areas, you as a customer seem to be regarded as a nuisance. It certainly makes me reluctant to go anywhere - far less confrontational and emotionally draining to stay home! I thought it was high time I spelled out just what a typical day out might be like. These incidents are all true!
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THE POST OFFICE
I'm used to having small postal outlets in drug stores and department stores - conveniently located and efficiently run. Here, post offices are few and far between. The one I usually go to, the Morningside Heights outlet, is almost a mile away, making it a fairly accessible walk, even lugging a few packages.
The foyer of the post office is huge and decorations are few. You feel like you're on a warehouse floor more than in a post office. There are about a dozen wickets, but only two seem to be open, three if you're lucky. The line up begins near the wickets at the far end from the entrance, and extends down the centre of the foyer. Half the time, the line then wraps around the entrance and winds it way along the side wall full of personal mail boxes. Usually the wait is 30-45 minutes. I always bring knitting or a book to the post office with me!
When you finally get up to the counter, you're treated as if you're an idiot, you're wasting the employees time, or both. Even better if you have a question! Your answer comes about as condescendingly as possible!
Why is the line so long and the wait so lengthy? Having only 2 wickets open certainly doesn't help speed things up. Usually there are other workers about, but who knows what their jobs are! To help reduce lineups, several self-serve machines are available: you can mail packages using a credit card from one machine, and buy stamps from two others. Though the process to use the machines must be confusing, because lineups for these machines are usually nearly as time-consuming as for the wickets. In addition, these machines are often not working or malfunctioning, requiring one of the precious two wicket-operators to deal with the "self-serve" machines!
Once, there was a third worker whose sole duty (as far as I could tell) was to instruct people on how to use these "self-serve" machines! That's a good use of employees!
BONUS FEATURE: If you're really lucky, the wait in line is an even longer wait because one of the wicket workers is using her time to "help" a family repackage boxes of books they were mailing to China! The family took up about half the available counter space (equal to six wickets) and for some unknown reason, they needed to open up all their boxes and shuffle the contents about. The postal worker spent the entire 45 minutes I was in line working with this family. And by "working" I mean that she would occassionally hand over a roll of tape or a pen, and spend the majority of the time standing around looking sour and bored. Yay for efficiency in the workplace!
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THE GROCERY STORE
Here, the best way to serve customers is to crowd everything into very small aisles, so that two carts cannot pass one another. Secondly, be sure the shelves are overcrowded with stock so that should you walk too close to one, trying to pass another shopper, you are sure to knock off several items. Thirdly, make sure that workers block the aisles by leaving stock-to-be-reshelved lying about, but no one around to actually restock.
The best part is the checkout, where row upon row of cash registers sit crammed together so you have barely enough room to stand between the conveyor belt and the next check out line. Cashiers are universally gossiping with their neighbouring cashiers. I am amazed they are able to ring in my groceries while chatting with three other employees. Or at least most of the time they're able to do this. Once in a while (like every few minutes) someone says something so outrageous that the cashier must stop her work to look at the speaker and gesticulate wildly. This is of course an efficient way to work. If you, as a customer, are acknowledged by any of the employees, it's to treat you like you're an obstacle or a pest.
BONUS FEATURE: If you're really lucky, you'll have someone in front of you in line who has a change of heart in his/her purchase. The customer must get another item, preferably one which he/she hasn't quite decided upon yet. This person's groceries are partly rung in, so of course there is nothing for the cashier to do but sit and wait while the customer finds what he/she is looking for. It may take 5-10 minutes for the customer to return, but it certainly is not the cashier's job to help the other customers in line in the meantime.
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THE FAST FOOD OUTLET
First, be sure all junior employees know one another and must chat continously about school/friends/stars while at work. Second, don't train them to understand how to work the menu machine nor the pop (I mean, soda) machines. Third, you must have a manager who has authority issues and yells and intimidates employees at every ready opportunity. This makes for a healthy and efficient work environment. And employees treat the customers as if they're wasting valuable time. It would be so much more pleasant if there were no customers!
As a customer, there is no need to decide what to order while you wait in line. Just stand impatiently and have loud conversations on your cell phone. When it is your turn, continue your cell conversation while trying to decide what to order. Then try to make your order while still conversing into your phone. Be sure the employee gets the order wrong, but don't check until several customers later.
As an employee at this point, make sure you have no idea what the customer is saying. Also, have no idea how to change an order. Also, if you're working to make, package, or distribute the food, don't use the handy screens which outlines each order in the correct sequence. Instead, just ask the one cashier what the next order is, since that cashier is certain to have remembered everyone's order. Finally, make sure you get everyone's order wrong. Especially if they're having the food to go. That way, they won't come back when you've forgotten to include all of the ordered items.
BONUS FEATURE: Run out of some important ingredient. Like, if you are at a Taco Bell, make sure you run out of burrito wraps. Don't communicate this with the other employees until 5 orders have been taken. Also, don't have a policy in place for what to do about this problem. Have all 8 employees in the front food-packaging area speaking simultaneously about what to do, but make sure they aren't listening to one another. This makes for good problem-solving and efficient service. Don't forget to leave out several items from the revised orders! Can't have inconsistency!
--------------------------------------------------------
Isn't capitalism great? I often feel like I've paid too much for not enough, and have inconvenienced society while doing so. I think I'll go and hang out with the squirrels and pigeons in the park instead!
-----------------------------------------------------
THE POST OFFICE
I'm used to having small postal outlets in drug stores and department stores - conveniently located and efficiently run. Here, post offices are few and far between. The one I usually go to, the Morningside Heights outlet, is almost a mile away, making it a fairly accessible walk, even lugging a few packages.
The foyer of the post office is huge and decorations are few. You feel like you're on a warehouse floor more than in a post office. There are about a dozen wickets, but only two seem to be open, three if you're lucky. The line up begins near the wickets at the far end from the entrance, and extends down the centre of the foyer. Half the time, the line then wraps around the entrance and winds it way along the side wall full of personal mail boxes. Usually the wait is 30-45 minutes. I always bring knitting or a book to the post office with me!
When you finally get up to the counter, you're treated as if you're an idiot, you're wasting the employees time, or both. Even better if you have a question! Your answer comes about as condescendingly as possible!
Why is the line so long and the wait so lengthy? Having only 2 wickets open certainly doesn't help speed things up. Usually there are other workers about, but who knows what their jobs are! To help reduce lineups, several self-serve machines are available: you can mail packages using a credit card from one machine, and buy stamps from two others. Though the process to use the machines must be confusing, because lineups for these machines are usually nearly as time-consuming as for the wickets. In addition, these machines are often not working or malfunctioning, requiring one of the precious two wicket-operators to deal with the "self-serve" machines!
Once, there was a third worker whose sole duty (as far as I could tell) was to instruct people on how to use these "self-serve" machines! That's a good use of employees!
BONUS FEATURE: If you're really lucky, the wait in line is an even longer wait because one of the wicket workers is using her time to "help" a family repackage boxes of books they were mailing to China! The family took up about half the available counter space (equal to six wickets) and for some unknown reason, they needed to open up all their boxes and shuffle the contents about. The postal worker spent the entire 45 minutes I was in line working with this family. And by "working" I mean that she would occassionally hand over a roll of tape or a pen, and spend the majority of the time standing around looking sour and bored. Yay for efficiency in the workplace!
-------------------------------------------------------
THE GROCERY STORE
Here, the best way to serve customers is to crowd everything into very small aisles, so that two carts cannot pass one another. Secondly, be sure the shelves are overcrowded with stock so that should you walk too close to one, trying to pass another shopper, you are sure to knock off several items. Thirdly, make sure that workers block the aisles by leaving stock-to-be-reshelved lying about, but no one around to actually restock.
The best part is the checkout, where row upon row of cash registers sit crammed together so you have barely enough room to stand between the conveyor belt and the next check out line. Cashiers are universally gossiping with their neighbouring cashiers. I am amazed they are able to ring in my groceries while chatting with three other employees. Or at least most of the time they're able to do this. Once in a while (like every few minutes) someone says something so outrageous that the cashier must stop her work to look at the speaker and gesticulate wildly. This is of course an efficient way to work. If you, as a customer, are acknowledged by any of the employees, it's to treat you like you're an obstacle or a pest.
BONUS FEATURE: If you're really lucky, you'll have someone in front of you in line who has a change of heart in his/her purchase. The customer must get another item, preferably one which he/she hasn't quite decided upon yet. This person's groceries are partly rung in, so of course there is nothing for the cashier to do but sit and wait while the customer finds what he/she is looking for. It may take 5-10 minutes for the customer to return, but it certainly is not the cashier's job to help the other customers in line in the meantime.
----------------------------------------------------
THE FAST FOOD OUTLET
First, be sure all junior employees know one another and must chat continously about school/friends/stars while at work. Second, don't train them to understand how to work the menu machine nor the pop (I mean, soda) machines. Third, you must have a manager who has authority issues and yells and intimidates employees at every ready opportunity. This makes for a healthy and efficient work environment. And employees treat the customers as if they're wasting valuable time. It would be so much more pleasant if there were no customers!
As a customer, there is no need to decide what to order while you wait in line. Just stand impatiently and have loud conversations on your cell phone. When it is your turn, continue your cell conversation while trying to decide what to order. Then try to make your order while still conversing into your phone. Be sure the employee gets the order wrong, but don't check until several customers later.
As an employee at this point, make sure you have no idea what the customer is saying. Also, have no idea how to change an order. Also, if you're working to make, package, or distribute the food, don't use the handy screens which outlines each order in the correct sequence. Instead, just ask the one cashier what the next order is, since that cashier is certain to have remembered everyone's order. Finally, make sure you get everyone's order wrong. Especially if they're having the food to go. That way, they won't come back when you've forgotten to include all of the ordered items.
BONUS FEATURE: Run out of some important ingredient. Like, if you are at a Taco Bell, make sure you run out of burrito wraps. Don't communicate this with the other employees until 5 orders have been taken. Also, don't have a policy in place for what to do about this problem. Have all 8 employees in the front food-packaging area speaking simultaneously about what to do, but make sure they aren't listening to one another. This makes for good problem-solving and efficient service. Don't forget to leave out several items from the revised orders! Can't have inconsistency!
--------------------------------------------------------
Isn't capitalism great? I often feel like I've paid too much for not enough, and have inconvenienced society while doing so. I think I'll go and hang out with the squirrels and pigeons in the park instead!
posted by blumaroo at
12:10 PM
2 Comments:
Two words: "Pistol Whipping". I think this is why American's own guns. You should most definitely try the technique on your next outing. (It's guaranteed to make you popular with the postal workers.)
I miss you. Hope you had a happy birthday with lots of cake and loads of icing. By the way, Jeff misses making treats for you.
bye bye
By
Penguin, at 2:47 PM
oops! being a bad friend, i of course forgot your birthday. HAPPY B.DAY!! just read about customer service in NYC and shook my head. great place to visit; don't know why anyone lives there!!
xoxo
h
By
Anonymous, at 7:08 PM
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